Miss me?!

Hey everyone!!! I know it has literally been 3 months! I'm sorry for the long wait and I hope you all catch my new post to see how my life's been going. Also, I'd like to say MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Shall I explain my abscence? Well, first off, I figured that since I got a D on my first test in anatomy I better spend more of my time on College. I finished with a B+!!! yay! I'm finally on break till the 11th of January. My second excuse is I GOT A JOB. I'm now working in an Assisted Living home in a town about 20 miles away. I take care of independent elderly people (giving showers, passing meds, etc..) It's a wonderful job and I love it...well minus the time I put into it. Everyone calls in all the time and I have a hard time saying no... so yes, instead of hanging with my family today on Christmas....I'll be stuck at work. SO once again...sorry for my ditching you.

I wanted to update you on a few things 1: I mentioned I'm on XMAS break from college. I passed all my classes with A's except for 2 but I think thats pretty good for a first year. I should be able to get into the nursing program next year. 2: T and I are still together. We've had plenty of drama this past three months. We broke up this summer....it was sooo hard. I can't remember if you knew that. I told him if he screwed up I was gone. Just about a week ago, he screwed up and I left him but ONCE again we are back on. I spend my day with his family and what not. He knows that I can't torture myself because of his stupidity so the next time is the last time and we agreed that would be final. So far so good (cross your fingers please). 3: My little Kiwi, London, is the most beautiful 5 month old in the world. I've posted pictures so please check them out above :)! She is talking and smiling and growing. Babies are amazing.

I can't remember anything in the past couple months but if there is anything you need updated on let me know :) Love and miss ya all! xoxo

'Love Thyself'

Hey! Long time no see...things have been absolutely crazy: let me fill you in cuz I know you're dying to know!!! haha

First Off: I got my tattoo I was telling you about earlier. Here are some pix (p.s. it hurt like hell: like 10x worse than my first one)

It reads love thyself and the second picture shows the plaement on my back I'm in love with it

College: college is starting to suck(like it always does when it comes to school) I got a D on an anatomy test which REALLY bummed me out cause I tried really hard but I'm trying to stay positive.

T: As with T and I...things are still going okay... nothings happened new really. (Love my short blogging huh?)

London: SO we got to keep my niece for the first time tonight heres an adorable picture of her and I....

she is the light of my world and she isn't even technically mine (i'm kinda thinking about holding her ransom though lol haha jk jk)

Uhm I can't think of anything else...sorry for the bum blogging again ;)

love!!!! xoxoxo

Holy Buckets! Who knew college was gonna be soooo time consuming? I seriously need to catch up on everything....

College: Okay classes are going good, just very long. I love my intro to pscyh class. My professor admits to being sexist. Normally I would be offended and talk back to stand up for the females in my class, which is the majority, but he is very funny, down to earth, and he makes it a joke and lets us have a chance to prove him wrong lol. Sociology S.U.C.K.S! My professor talks like she is a show biz host....she stretches out the end of all her words. Sociology is just a discussion class and ILOVEIT! I get to voice my opionion as much as I want and I love that. Finally, Anatomy is kicking my butt still. I can't do anything right in that class. So pray for me!

T and Me: As for the lovely T and I....we are practically in love all over....I think he finally pulled his head out of his you know what. Seriously, he helps with homework and takes me places and actually WANTS to spend time with me. I'm pretty much in love again...I don't feel trapped or worried about anything. It' all really good.

ME: As for me, kidney stones prevail... I seriously have never been in so much pain and I've been in a car accident, I've had a tattoo, I was a self injurer for many years and these stones are what makes me REALLY feel pain. Holy Buckets! I'm on pain pills and they aren't working so I should go back to Dr. Gorgeous lol
I'm getting my second tattoo this weekend or next.... Between my side and my spine right underneath my ribs down to my hip will read "DILIGE TE IPSAM" which means "Love Thyself" in latin. I'm doing so when I look at the scars on my wrists and arms I can remember to love my body and take what I have learned from my self injury and love every inch of me. Scars have a past and so do i....

sorry its been so long <3 ya! xoxo

SO sorry!

Okay, so I decided I probably need to catch you up on everything.

First off, school is kicking my butt. I've been constantly doing homework. I am a good student ;D I aced all my papers and tests this week so I got lucky. yay!

I went to the Emergency Room a couple nights ago cause my kidney stones were so bad. They also said I had a cyst rupture so I definitely was in pain. They gave me a shot in the butt and some good meds but I'm sleepy ALL the time. So when I'm not fighting sleep in class I'm sleeping at home lol

As for T and I, I told him I needed some time to think about what MY future holds. I took a step back from him and he fought it but he gets it. I feel he needs to grow up for one and I need to move out. I need to know he is going to have a job, and want to move out. So right now, we are on a little 'break' I guess you'd say. I love him and I miss him. I'm missing everything he did for me. Maybe I just needed some time to think about our future you know? I'm not really sure...who knows. Anyhoooo.... I'm off to bed...imagine that.

Sorry for my boring life...much <3 xoxo

Nonchalant

I got nothing really lol! Nothing really has changed since the last time I posted. Other than the fact I have KIDNEY STONES AT 18~! It sucks so bad. I went to the doctor on Monday and they did all these creepy tests and things. So I got some pain. Lets drink so nasty water and piss these rocks out! whoop whoop haha

College is good....but it's keeping me from you haha! I have a powerpoint and 3 papers due next week so it may be awhile before I get to you again.

T and I are doing fantastically! I love going to bed and waking up knowing he would do anything for me. I called him two nights ago at 1:30 in the morning crying in pain. He had to be up at 5 for work but drove all the way into town to rub my back and side until I fell asleep. It's perfect. :D

Anywhoo...sorry for the badblogging haha. P.s. Kylee!!!-if you are looking for a crazy book to read I just finished one that was amazing! It is really insane, crazy, psycho....I'm not sure what you like to read but its good . Let me know if you're interested! much <3 xoxo

Lazy Butt...

Hey! Sorry for the 0 blogging lately...I'm sooo lazy. I don't wanna get on the internet if I don't have to. If I log into my laptop that normally means I have to write I paper or something so I try not to haha!

Things have been working themselves out...luckily. I hate being stressed, especially with college on my plate.

I go back to college tomorrow...I got a three day weekend because my professor was gone on Friday and this week I get another three day weekend becuase of no class on Monday for Labor Day! yay! I've been trying to read ahead and take notes so I don't get behind and what not. I have online journals and quizzes to take which will suck so I'm trying to start them. College really isn't hard its just different from my small town high school.

Today I helped my friend Brian move to college(not my college). It was fun to see a bigger school. I went to a small Community College because I don't like big places. Anywhoo...Brian is going to a bigger Community College so I offered to help and go along for the long drive so he wasn't alone. Most of my senior class goes there so we stopped to check in on them..It was really great. I made the decision to live at home for awhile so I can save money but I really regret it. I wish I could get an apartment now...it was soooo cool to see all my ex-classmates all on their own. haha! anywhoo just thought I'd pop in and udate on some stuff. I'll check in tomorrow or tuesday! <3 xoxo

Delay!

Sorry about the delay on the bloggin...I've been sooo busy. Wednesday was my first day of college! yay! it was okay. I had class from 8:00-8:55 and that was Intro to Psychology-which was great. Pretty down to earth class...I don't know anyone in tit but it will get better I hope. Than from 9:05-11:15 I have Anatomy. We get to disect cats haha I'm pumped. My teacher is funny. Today I had Speech which was awful. I met tons of ppl which was excellent but my professor was a complete knot head lol oh well...you always have to have one of those. After speech I had Sociology which was fantastic. I think I'm going to enjoy my classes very well..

Aside from school, I've been having many problems with T and problems with my brother about T. I'm not really sure how to post about them because I obviously don't know from right and wrong. I'm so stressed with it. I don't know who to make happy and I'm killing myself over it! I wish I could just make myself happy without hurting someone.

Lets just say I have a past===don't we all? But it involved doing harm to my body and I don't wanna go back to that...I don't wanna push myself to feel something...save me...