Lazy Butt...

Hey! Sorry for the 0 blogging lately...I'm sooo lazy. I don't wanna get on the internet if I don't have to. If I log into my laptop that normally means I have to write I paper or something so I try not to haha!

Things have been working themselves out...luckily. I hate being stressed, especially with college on my plate.

I go back to college tomorrow...I got a three day weekend because my professor was gone on Friday and this week I get another three day weekend becuase of no class on Monday for Labor Day! yay! I've been trying to read ahead and take notes so I don't get behind and what not. I have online journals and quizzes to take which will suck so I'm trying to start them. College really isn't hard its just different from my small town high school.

Today I helped my friend Brian move to college(not my college). It was fun to see a bigger school. I went to a small Community College because I don't like big places. Anywhoo...Brian is going to a bigger Community College so I offered to help and go along for the long drive so he wasn't alone. Most of my senior class goes there so we stopped to check in on them..It was really great. I made the decision to live at home for awhile so I can save money but I really regret it. I wish I could get an apartment now...it was soooo cool to see all my ex-classmates all on their own. haha! anywhoo just thought I'd pop in and udate on some stuff. I'll check in tomorrow or tuesday! <3 xoxo

Delay!

Sorry about the delay on the bloggin...I've been sooo busy. Wednesday was my first day of college! yay! it was okay. I had class from 8:00-8:55 and that was Intro to Psychology-which was great. Pretty down to earth class...I don't know anyone in tit but it will get better I hope. Than from 9:05-11:15 I have Anatomy. We get to disect cats haha I'm pumped. My teacher is funny. Today I had Speech which was awful. I met tons of ppl which was excellent but my professor was a complete knot head lol oh well...you always have to have one of those. After speech I had Sociology which was fantastic. I think I'm going to enjoy my classes very well..

Aside from school, I've been having many problems with T and problems with my brother about T. I'm not really sure how to post about them because I obviously don't know from right and wrong. I'm so stressed with it. I don't know who to make happy and I'm killing myself over it! I wish I could just make myself happy without hurting someone.

Lets just say I have a past===don't we all? But it involved doing harm to my body and I don't wanna go back to that...I don't wanna push myself to feel something...save me...

College?! Tomorrow?! Noooo way!

Hey ya'll! I just wanted to let you kow I start college in the morning so I may not be blogging as much but I promise I'll try every day. mucho mucho <3 xoxo

Horror Movie :/

I need to update you on a lot of things! This is a long but interesting story that I could use some advice on....

Last night was a living R rated movie. T and I have been, well, not on the right track. And I told him I needed to end things for my benefit. No matter how much I love him I had to let him go. I have college in 3 days and I don't need stress. Things just weren't working and nothing was changing. If it was meant to be things would work themselves out.

So when I told him, I've never seen T act this way, he begged. He told me he would do the little things. He told me he would be apart of my life. He told me I was his world. I've heard it before...many many times. So I stood my ground and told him that we've been thru this. He than gets defensive and tells me he isn't going to stop seeing me and that he WON'T let me go. Mmmkay.... so I almost fell back into the trap. But I caught myself and told him I wanted a few days to sort things out.

At that point, I wasn't home. I was hanging with one of my girls and two of our guy friends...just being funny and having fun. It was the most fun I'd had in a long time. T text me at 2 in the morning asking me where I was and who I was with and how I wasn't home yet....like he was checking up on me. GIVE ME A BREAK! I just wanted to be away from him for a while ya know?! To see what else my life has to offer... so I never replied....bad mistake.

Now it's about 2:45 in the morning and my friend(girl) and my other friend (guy) decided we were gonna go be children of the corn haha....I'm an Iowa girl...GIVE ME A BREAK! LOL! We love going into corn fields at night haha. Anywhoo....nevertheless, as we pull into some random field entrance I see T's lights in the distance, and I kick my car out of there as fast as I could....the nightmare begings.

He chases me for 100 hours it seems like...calling me and leaving me vm's about how I'm probably screwing another guy and blah blah. I was terrified! So I drove back into town and kept driving cuz the guy in my car was gonna beat him up. T pulls on the grass to drive beside me! Almost rams my car! I was hysterical! I told him to go home. . . I'd go to his house and talk to him...second mistake.

I went to his house after apologizing to my friends about my psycho ex. As soon as I walk in he hits the wall and goes downstairs so I leave...guess what happened?! oh c'mon just guess.....you got it! 3 seconds later he was right behind me calling me.

Jess: "what!"
T: "what the hell are you doing?!"
Jess: "I told you I wasn't going to talk to you if you were gonna act like that. I was going there to talk about us and you scare me so I'm going home."
T: "Jessica, please come back to my house. We will sit down and talk and I wont raise my voice or anything. I promise."
Jess: "No, I gave you a chance. Matter of fact, I've given you 5 years."
T: (crying) "Please."

So as you can guess we went and talked about it. I don't really remember what we talked about because I was violently shaking for most of it. Things are okay, but not. Not after he put me and my/his friends in danger. we have a lot to work on....please pray for us. <3xoxo

For my deary pie, Kylee ;)...and to brag about my Kiwi haha

This is me and Kiwi...mommy is in the background

Isn't London precious

When she sleeps she always has that one arm up...the thinker lol

this is my bro, Jared, and his daughter, London

London AnnLynn

My stretching baby

this one is blurred a little cause i edited it...

me n her

Wonderful Day

Hey there! Today went so well. It is such a great feeling. I had to get up early to watch my munchkins but I only had the little one so it was great. We played with PlayDough...played basketball, jumped on the trampoline, ate mac n cheese, took a nap, read a book, watched a movie. He is so smart for only being 3. SO adorable.

Later I called T and asked him if he wanted to rent a movie and watch it with his sister and boyfriend so we did that and went out to eat. We just had a lot of fun!

I start college in exactly 5 days. I'm soooo nervous. I can't think of anything new to tell you really but keep checking in...you never know what can happen haha. OH and Kylee...I'm posting more pictures tomorrow for ya ;) <3 xoxo

I really haven't had much to say lately....things have been pretty down and out. This morning I went and got my school supplies finally! and went and saw my niece...whom I love dearly lol. Then I had slow pitch again...I thought it was the last game but noooooo we have a tourney coming up...ugh. But anyways T went with me and was being a grouch...we've been fighting a little bit more lately and I hate it. He told me tonight that he is worried about me going to college. I flat out told him that if he doesn't trust me NOW that it is never going to work :( I don't really know whats gonna happen but I'm gonna let it roll. It'll work itself out if it's supposed to be I guess. Anyways, thats all i really have to say. Sorry for the boring life of me lol :) <3 xoxo

To My Dearest Kylee :D

London is so Tiny in these pictures...

I was trying to bug her so she'd stay awake lol

Look at all her hair!

edited photos of T and I

That's right! Aunt Jess's Little Kiwi

p.a.i.n.

holy cow! i am literally bent over 24/7! I've never had such bad pain in my life! I think these cysts are going to kill me soon! I had my last two slow pitch games and cried any time I had to run lol...boy it was awful. UGH!

I got my books for school today. Those put me in debt about 600 bones haha! I'm gonna make it...I'm gonna make it...I'm gonna make it.

Hey since your my only follower Kylee...Thanks for prayers...work the magic haha and yes you can call me jess...everybody does ;) cool beans? haha <3

night ya'll i gotta get up early! <3 xoxo

Roller Coaster

WHOA MAN! Today has been quite the ride. I'm soooo mooody! I can cry one minute and laugh the next haha so excuse my crazy bloggin for the next week.

So today was emotional, as I've said. I didn't really do much which was kinda nice. I'm in a lot of pain because of the 3 cysts on my ovaries :( I hope no one has to go thru what I've been thru for the past 6 years. It sucks to say the least lol. But in a week I should be good to go.
I've been very money stressed...who knew going to college could suck your pocket haha(that was supposed to be sarcasm cuz we all know that school isn't cheap haha). I still need school supplies...luckily T is helpin out. I'd be screwed without him lol...I go get my $610 books tomorrow...ugh!!!! lol But I'm so excited I'm tryin to push the whole worry crap out of my head.

Anywhoo I'm off to bed. Blog ya tomorrow <3 xoxo

Good to be...Good to go

Hey ya'll! It is I, Jessica. ;) SO I'm FIIIINNNAAALLLYY home! I get to sleep in my own bed! So pumped!

I woke up this a.m. and cleaned the fam's house so I could go home. I packed up all my junk(minus my laptop...she isn't junk...she is a very good laptop...i think i should name her lol), and headed home only to unpack, take a quick shower and leave with T. We went fishing under an old bridge...well he fished while I built a fire haha I'm a pyro lol. After that we came back into town and played horseshoes with my old man and went to my friends to hang out. Boys in the garage, girls inside (that how my friends house works lol) I got really tired so we went home and now I'm trying to fix my scanner which I JUST did, literally haha! NOW KYLEE GETS TO SEE MORE PIX OF MY KIWI! haha!

College starts in exactly 10 days...kinda scary. I really need to get my butt in gear and get my stuff done dontcha think?! haha I'm workin on makin the moolah so I can do the schoolah! haha. Okie doke ya'll! I'm going to bed... I'll post pix tomorrow. <3 xoxo

Lately I've been...

So not a lot has been going on. I'm still house sitting for the family I babysit for. Its kinda gettin me down cuz I get home sick really quick and the dog keeps chewing on EVERYTHING!!! It stinks to wake up after a terrible night of sleep and find everthing from coasters to shoes all chewed up. Stupid Chase lol. I go home tomorrow so I'm working on laundry and dishes and what not. As you can probably guess, I'm getting no where.

College starts in exactly 12 days and I'm so nervous. I feel like I have so much to do before school starts and I'm a wreck. I haven't gotten school supplies. I haven't taken any tests that I need to take before I can enter the nursing program. I haven't mastered waking up early. I have no idea where my classes are(hopefully I can make it to orientation) Boy, its a mess lol

I hope everyone is doing fine with everything <3 xoxo

Kylee requested pictures of my niece, London. So this is my Kiwi and I

I edited some of these, here Kiwi is sleepin on me ;)

This would be me and my dorkie Father.

And here is the ever so heard about T and me


and this is my brother Ben and I

The T Love Story -AS PROMISED :) Part 1

OKay! So I'm about to tell you the reallllllly loooong story of how T and I became...T and I lol. This will probably be very long so feel free to skip over whatever you'd like and I'm going to be telling the story throughout the blog because it's like trying to cram 5 years into one post haha and it makes it more interesting...

POP THE ?-I'm going to start at the beginning just like any story. I was 12 years old. T was 14, and my brothers best friend. I can remember being about 7 or 8 and those two chasing me around my front yard. Ben(my brother) would hold me down as T would hold worms in front of my face(I am terrified of worms) lol! So you can probably guess I HATED T. But as I got older we would start to play wrestle and I realized one day I had a crush on him. T had never had a girlfriend EVER, though I had a few elementary loves. Once Ben figured out I was crushin on T, the first thing he did was tell him of course. Ben was basically T's coach thru all of it. Soooo, one day when I wasn't home T went into my room and wrote on my bulletin board 'Yes I Will Go Out With You', although I never asked him anything( I think I started to shy away from him at this point). I think T figured that the 'little note' wasn't good cuz he knew I wasn't satisfied haha!
August 22-Ben, T, Jessi(my friend) and I were all at the park. Ben and T were having secret meetings by the slide. Jessi and I were swinging as I was whispering about the bulletin board note and how I thought he was gonna ask me out. Ben and T walk over and T was flirtin by grabbin my swing-silly elementary flirting haha-when Ben just yells at T "DO IT!!!!!!" haha. So T looks at me, face beat red-he still gets red today when I retell this story to him- and says "Will you?" I reply with "Will I what?" T kept saying things like 'you know.' haha so FINALLY AFTER FOREVER he asked "Jessica, will you go out with me?" and ya know what I did?! I got up and started walking around town. haha I made him follow me ALLLLL over just to wait for the biiiig answer. "Yes."

Nothing Special

Hey all ya! I don't really have anything special to say. I got up early and did chores than drove to watch my lil cousins and they were perfect. Came back for slow pitch now I'm chillaxing and listenin to my new favorite song "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon and waiting to see thee ol' lover boy haha! Hope everyone had a great day!
<3 xoxo

Sick & Fun Day

Quite the combination hu? Sick and Fun lol. This morning I didn't feel very good...kinda a swollen throat and headache, I just thought it was how sometimes ya wake up and dont feel good cuz you had the window open or whatever. SOOO I took some asprin and T and I went to my friends pasture to watch our friends participate in a free-to-do-what-you-want demolishin derby. HAHA what a blast! Nothin like watching all your friends, in the rain, in a very muddy pasture, on a very muddy track, ram into each other in cheap old beaten up carshaha! So it was fun, cold, and did I mention muddy?! I started not feeling good again so T took my home so I could take a hot shower and nap. I haven't conquered the nap yet but I'm looking forward to it.

I get to go watch my too adorable little cousins tomorrow 45 minutes away so I have to get up early...do the chores at the house I'm staying, do chores at their grandparents place, and also my grandparents place then drive 40 miles to watch them only to come back for slow pitch softball. I hope I feel better tomorrow cause it's gonna be busy busy! I hope you all had a lovely day.

Happy Bloggin! <3 xoxo

Realized...

Things kinda worked themselves out last night. T ended up staying with me like we planned but didn't even come until midnight. Then we fought...and slept seperately but this morning things were better. I miss my old T sometimes. Anywhoo just letting ya know things are okay. I'll post ya lata!
<3 xoxo

Let It Out

So I decided when I started this blog that I was gonna tell the story of T and I. As of right now, I don't want to. I'm soooooo MAD! I hate how one week everything can be absolutely perfect then everything goes to crap!

None of this is going to make sense till I tell the story of our relationship-which I will post soon- so excuse my random ranting. Don't you think a relationship has to be a 2 person, 2 way pull, 2 way fight, 2 way conversation, 2 way commitment? I sure freaking think so. After 5 years you'd think we'd figure this out by now. I hate putting so much work into something and having it fall on me 7 days later. I just want to spend time with him and he only wants to when he wants to. This isn't fair. Why am I such a bad person?! Is it that bad to have someone love you that much?!?!?!?!? UHH>>>>>

Ok I think I let it out enough for right now.....God Give Me Peace!
<3 xoxo

What to do?

Hey y'all! Last night was a blast! T and I had a really good time. It is officially almost noon here and I am nowhere near the shower lol.

I have absolutely zero plans today...other than moving out to the familys house. Which I should probably do after I shower. I'll letcha know later if I found anything interesting to do! <3 xoxo

Busy Busy Day....Ready For Fun!

Wow...I can only say wow. I got up at about 5 and got ready to go help T's sister with the garge sale stuff again. I finally just got home. We were so busy that I forgot to eat when I should have and the ol' blood sugar got low.... so I ate quickly cuz my mind got slow and took about an hour nap. I had no idea what a nap was till today haha!

Tonight is going to be a blast... T and I wanted something fun to do so we are going to the casino(although I'm only 18 and he is only 20, you have to be 21 here to gamble) to watch horse, camel, and ostrich races haha! How funny is that gonna be?! I'm very excited.

I have to 'house sit' for the family I babysit for while they are on vacation...I 'move in' (lol) tomorrow afternoon. I'm kind of excited to have a house all by myself to relax...no work...nothing. Just quiet.

Happy bloggin! <3 xoxo

Bitter Sweet

What an outrageous day...so many twists and turns. I wish I could just please everyone sometimes. I helped T's family with setting up garage sale stuff....AFTER he threw a fit cuz I was gonna watch my friend's children for a few hours. <I mistakenly told T I'd spend the day with him forgetting I was going to watch the kids> Luckily, my friend is very understanding and always has backups. ;) (I secretly love that T wants to spend every second with me lately) I know...I know...so selfish sometimes right....

After we set stuff up we went back home and ate Turkey and noodles...YUM! so everything was all fine and dandy till my poor mother called upset about something so I rushed home to comfort her. I hope I'm the half the mother she is someday. She deserves so much more than this life has given her and I only wish I could fix everything wrong in her life. God Bless You Mother!

So I'm off to bed, hoping I sleep well considering I have to be up in 6 hours :( P.S.>sorry for the cranky bloggin..........with all my <3 xoxo

Turning Right Side Up!

Ok, so I must of just had a bad morning. My munchkins were dolls today which always makes for a good night. We went to the pool for most of the day, after a picnic of course ;) My littlest one is 3 and he had a few 'owwies' on his chest so I had his mom take him to the doctor cuz they had changed in appearance. I hope my little man is okay.

Anywhoo....I'm off to help T and his parents with something. T insisted on this being his day so we are gonna do what he wants and tomorrow we're gonna do what I want. Can't wait to see what he's thought of. After 5 years...T still gives me butterflies ;)

I'll be sure to post before I head off to bed! Have a wonderful rest of the day! <3 xoxo

The Little Things...

Boy, every little thing is making me so mad today! I got up early to go babysit then she calls and said not to come for 4 more hours....AWESOME RIGHT?! Ugh...AND any little thing T says this morning makes me wanna freak. I musta woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Well of to the shower THEN ACTUALLY REALLY MAYBE POSSIBLY going to babysit. I gotta hurry.

Wish me luck for the rest of this dreary day. <3 xoxo

Fantastic Days End

Hey there! I finallllllly just got home! What a day. I traveled to go see my little niece, she is only 1 month old....and so very beautiful. Her name is London but I call her Kiwi. ;) Such a princess.
After I left their place I had two slow pitch softball games and then went to T's house. It's so hard to leave his place. I'm sure you girls know how that goes sometimes. ;) I LOVE the feeling of going to bed satisfied.

Well I'm off to bed so I can watch my munchkins in the morning. g'night! <3 xoxo

Hey all you! It's about 10 in the morning and I just gettin up lol. I watched my friend's kids for her until 11:30ish last night...then I stopped at my boyfriends where I fell asleep until 3:30 haha...I hate drivin home so early.

As of right now my plans for the day consist of watching movies, possibly going to see my 1 month old niece, and slow pitch tonight. I love days like this ;) I'll check in with ya laters <3 xoxo

New Day Cont...

Well I just got home...those kids...pretty speechless. Kinda have a tough time with them sometimes. I haven't showered all day and feel disgusting so I got get in there and do that, THEN go to the next town and watch the next set of kids. I feel like a nanny lol.

Btw-has anyone been following the jon and kate plus 8 deal. What a shocker! I can't stop watchin them lol

TTYSOON every1~ <3 xoxo

New Day

I got up bright and early this morning to go babysit my muchkins....I ran to my place quick to grab some clothes and to stop by and watch my boy toy paint a house lol. Such a good kid :) I'll check in with ya when I get home :) <3 xoxo

Here We Go

Hey everybody! Pretty excited about my new blog....it's gonna help me let everything out. Let my catch you up on a few things. I'm 18, just graduated high school, start college in exactly 23 days, I'm cowardly working on quiting my job as a cashier so I can be a kid for a little while longer. I plan to be a nurse someday. This summer I'm babysitting for the same family I have for years, a 12 year old, and 8 year old, and a 3 year old. They are quite amazing kids. I've been dating my boyfriend T for almost 5 years...minus a 2 week breakup that happened about 3 weeks ago. I'm living at home still but workin on saving some green so I can get out on my own. I have 2 brothers and a new niece...she is so precious. ANYWHOO....just a little just of where my life sits right new...KEEP CHECKIN IN ;) <3 xoxo